Ronald McCray once identified as a homosexual for six years, only to find “The Life” offered nothing to satisfy the longing of his soul. He had a life-changing experience with the Holy Spirit that transformed his life.
He Was Drunk in the Club When He Heard the Voice of the Lord.
Growing up, Ronald McCray missed out on the attention young boys need. He was raised mostly by his mother, while his father struggled with addiction.
“The substance abuse kind of pulled him away from me, so dad would make promises that he was going to pick me up and I would be excited and waiting by the window, and time would pass by and dad wouldn’t show up…The lack of relationship that I had with my father that really made me wonder if I was worthy of love.”
Then, when Ronald was 9-years old, a trusted male relative exposed him to pornography and secretly molested him for two years. Hurt and confused, Ronald began to question who he was.
“I remember getting up and running into the restroom and just washing myself and I just begged God for forgiveness because I felt like it was my fault. And it just felt like a cloud of guilt and shame was just hovering over me. That is when I started to have a sexual desire for the same sex. That was my first points of sexual reference.”
At 15, Ronald began exploring same-sex relationships. “You know, I was bullied a lot. I wasn’t the most masculine man. I had some feminine characteristics because I was so close to my mom. I was called names…so I began to ask myself, ‘Well, am I really those things?’
By the time he graduated high school, he was embracing a gay lifestyle. “I found myself being attracted, often times to guys who possessed the qualities that I lacked and when men would give me love, or what I thought love was, I gravitated to it.”
However, as years passed he felt unsatisfied and empty. He remembered going to church as a boy…but now, he wasn’t sure God would accept him. “I felt like God didn’t want anything to do with a sinner like me. My happiness was contingent upon who I was with or the things that I was doing, but even eventually the clubs got old and drinking alcohol became tiresome and so I found myself depressed.
Then, Ronald’s roommate invited him to church. “You know, we went to the church and I sat in the service and preacher was preaching a powerful message uh about God’s love. The church embraced me with love and they had no idea how much their love was penetrating my heart. And so, I would go Sunday after Sunday.”
But one night, he was headed to the club with friends when they were robbed at gunpoint. In that moment, his life changed. “They made us get out of the car and lay face down on the ground, and the guy said to me ‘This is about to be a homicide.’ I knew that I could call on the name of Jesus when I was in trouble. I hadn’t called on his name in a long time but I called on him and I remember saying in my mind, ‘I know that the way that I lived my life was wrong, and if you let me die you are justified in that; but if you give me mercy, if you allow me to live, I’ll serve you. I’ll give my life to you.’ And I can’t even remember how long we were face down on the street, but all I remember was my friends coming to me and saying, “Ron, Ron, they’re gone.”
At church service on Sunday, October 18th 2009, he asked Jesus to restore his life. “And everything that I could think of that I had done to offend God, I asked him to forgive me of. And God filled me with his Holy Spirit, and that day marked a turning point in my life and I have not gone back to the homosexual lifestyle since then.”
A church leader reached out to Ronald as a mentor. “He poured into me the word of God, you know? And the word of God healed my heart. It transformed my way of thinking. I thought when, you know, I surrendered my life to Christ, that my attractions would just vanish. But for me, uh that was not the case. But I found that Jesus himself was tempted. He resisted Satan and Satan fled. And so that’s an example for me that I can too, resist temptation when it comes my way, but over the years the temptation was not as tempting anymore.”
And in Sunday School Ronald became friends with Fetima, who had also left the homosexual lifestyle. “A question was presented to the class and Fetima answered the question. And I was like ‘Who is this voice, this, you know, beautiful eloquence?’ And so I had to turn around without being obvious that I was looking at her. And the beauty matched the beauty of her words, so I’m already hooked.”
Their friendship blossomed into romance and they married in 2015. In 2019, Fetima gave birth to their son, Alexander. “To be a father is a dream come true, because I also wanted to be a father. I didn’t have the best example, growing up of what a father would look like but my Heavenly Father teaches me every day of how to be the best father to him.”
Today Ronald stands firm in his identity as a husband, father and man loved by God.
“You’re not too broken, you’re not too tarnished, for God, the potter, to put you back together again and give you new life.”
Ronald Shared His Story With CBN News