Joseph Sciambra will be the first to tell you of his large-hearted and abiding love for gays. He will also be the first to tell you that despite its feel-good name, genuine happiness cannot be found in the “gay” lifestyle.
The former gay porn actor has described his own journey into the darkest core of the gay underworld in the Castro District of San Francisco in the early 90’s as like being “Swallowed by Satan” – the title of his new book, in which he recounts his experiences.
Joseph, who left the gay scene thirteen years ago after a dramatic reconversion to the Catholic faith, says his quest for love and acceptance through sex began with pornography. At the age of eight, he one day naively flipped through a porn magazine left out by an older brother. This was followed by more graphic porn magazines. Then came masturbation and the urge to act out with others what he saw in the magazines.
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Joseph says that what he craved to experience was a deep and satisfying sexual nirvana. He grasped for this by expanding his sexual escapades. New sexual experiences with new partners was the only stimuli that seemed to offer him the excitement, what he called the “happy-place,” that he was so desperately seeking. Brothels and prostitutes became part of his sexual routine.
Becoming bored with female porn, Joseph moved onto gay porn. Then he realized that he must be with gay men if he was to gratify his ever-increasing sexual desires.
Older gay men initiated 19-year-old Joseph through gay sex into the Castro gay scene. He began visiting bathhouses and adult video arcades for anonymous gay sex. In his quest for love and companionship Joseph immersed himself deeper into the gay scene. What he sought after so desperately constantly eluded him.
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So-called “glory-hole booths” (a place for anonymous oral sex) offered the next form of excitement. It was at one such place that Joseph says he delivered himself sexually over to Satan, who presented himself in the form of a gaping mouth with a foot-long forked tongue. From that point forward Joseph began hearing voices inside his head.
Joseph finally found himself traveling down into the darkened dungeons of sadomasochism. Here he inflicted and received sexualized pain and torture. This included horrendous practices too graphic to describe here. Most of this was filmed for the gay porn industry. Sexual nirvana for Joseph could now only be obtained along with violence, subjugation, and aggression.
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Now in his late twenties, Joseph says that all he experienced inside himself was hate: hate for other men, hate for his life, and hate for the world. By now he had experienced sex with as many as 1000 men. He embraced everything that was sexually gruesome and hideous.
One diabolical orgy was so violent that it put Joseph into the hospital. There he had an experience of death and of his soul descending into an open and salivating mouth, which he says he knew was hell.
But Joseph’s Catholic mother was at his bedside, praying earnestly. Fear seized Joseph’s heart. He did not want to enter the eternal mouth that had opened up to receive him because of his life of choosing sin. He says he begged for God’s help and deliverance. At that moment he felt himself being brought back into his body.
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Joseph went on to rediscover his Catholic faith that he had forsaken in his childhood. He experienced forgiveness from God for his years of sexual sin in the sacrament of confession. Demons were cast from him in an exorcism performed by a Catholic priest. He says he found strength to continue his faith journey by frequently receiving the Eucharist at Mass, and found help and consolation from Mary, the mother of God.
Joseph admits that he still struggles with attraction to other men and with temptations to masturbate, but he says he has come to know that the love, acceptance, and peace he so ardently sought in sex with other men, Jesus now gives to him in abundance through a spiritual life.
For Joseph, same-sex attraction is a cross that God has asked certain people to bear for the redemption of the world. Now running a Catholic religious shop in Napa, California, Joseph says that there is genuine joy in carrying the cross. By uniting his sufferings with those of the suffering Jesus, Joseph believes he is helping to save his gay friends from a devilish fate he barely escaped.
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According to Joseph, many gay men have come to him, telling him of their unhappiness and their own similar experiences in the gay lifestyle. Joseph says he will speak first of his love for them. Then he will speak of how his encounter with and acceptance of God’s love saved him from being “swallowed by Satan.” He will tell them that gay sexual ecstasy is momentary and delusional, but God’s love is enduring, satisfying, and as real as it gets.
Click here to read Life Site News interview with Joseph Sciambra.
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When you post testimonies like this describing the sins at length, enlisting them as if in a playboy magazine,amidst other challenging witnesses who have endured persecution for their Faith, this is more a turn off / distraction.