Former megachurch pastor Tullian Tchividjian recently shared how he contemplated committing suicide after it was revealed he had multiple affairs.

Last summer, Tchividjian stepped down as the head pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church after admitting to an affair. He said at the time that his affair was part of a response to the knowledge that his wife was also having an affair.

“As her affair continued, we separated,” he said. “Sadly and embarrassingly, I subsequently sought comfort in a friend and developed an inappropriate relationship myself.”

After leaving Coral Ridge, Tchividjian was hired by Willow Creek Presbyterian Church, but was later fired after another affair was revealed.

Despite his apparent repentance and statement that “Christianity is not about good people getting better. It is, rather, good news for bad people coping with their failure to be good. The message of the Christian faith is that because Jesus was strong for us we are free to be weak,” Tchividjian now admitted that he went through a very dark time in his life and even contemplated suicide.

In a blog post on, he wrote:

“How did I arrive at that dark place where I actually wanted to kill myself? … What I see now that I couldn’t see then is that this explosion had been building for a few years. The shift from locating my identity in the message of the Gospel to locating my identity in my success as a messenger of the Gospel was slow and subtle … My confidence was severely misplaced: Confidence in status, reputation, power and position, the way I spoke, the praise I received, financial security and success.”


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