We have fears, and if we let them fester they can become monsters in our mind.
Sometimes tears can come, and you don’t fully understand where they are coming from or how on earth there are so many in you. It is exhausting and headache-inducing and not really that fun. Nevertheless, it is a catharsis and it is a lesson in true comfort.
I had this experience recently and I have to admit, it threw me a little. Life had seemed to be ticking along rather nicely and I was privileged to be at the receiving end of what felt like an endless supply of encouragement and generosity. So what happened? Why did it suddenly feel like my heart was broken?
The truth is, it was probably a thousand little things. Those little things that I choose not to think about on a daily basis but nevertheless are there, floating in the ether. On this particular day, they all decided to whizz through space and smack me in the face. And it hurt.
The other hard truth was that I think I had taken my eye off the ball a bit, getting caught up in sorting out my own life and stressing about what was to come next instead of trusting that God had it all in hand.
We are human beings after all, perfectly imperfect.
We have desires, some of which are so elusive that we can’t even verbalise them. Plus, those we do know about can remain unfulfilled for a long time. We have doubts which come in waves. When they crash over us we sometimes go under and feel unable to breath.
We have minds that contain a myriad of thoughts at any given moment and these thoughts can be hard to process. We also have sorrows; just straight up things that make our hearts sad.
And so, life is not always easy. We were never promised it would be. True comfort comes when we remember that even in these moments, when the world and our minds overwhelm us, Jesus is sat right beside us, propping us up and feeling exactly what we feel.
If anyone is going to understand our true heart, it is Jesus himself.
Therefore let the angst out, let it out unashamedly and without holding back (1 Peter 5:7). This is between you and He who made you and it is not shocking to Him or hard for Him to deal with. Your tears do not make Him uncomfortable, or angry, or fed up.
You may not understand, nor indeed may anyone around you but rest assured, He gets it and once you have given it all over to Him He will gift you with peace once again (Psalm 30:5).
By Lucy Maddox